No Time is a Good Time for a Breakup.

No Time is a Good Time for a Breakup.

Posted by aperez | January 1, 2020 | Blog

No Time is a Good Time for a Breakup.

If one brings up multiple red flags, drop, drop, drop him! And replace the third position consequently. In your time window (Let’s say 3 months), you will need to go on dates with all 3 men. You should have a good sample of each guy- enough to make a decision. Start to prioritize who gets the most share of your time. This will naturally unfold. Checks and balances. Dating 3 men will make it abundantly clear to you on what one man is doing and what another is not. Weigh and evaluate. This is when you reflect and your time window is nearing a close. Midway, you should have knocked out your third candidate. Focus and compare.

Now, in the last 1/3 of your time window, you need to dedicate your dating time to only this pair that you have chosen. Decide! This is the last and most tricky part. You have to choose your number one choice and dive in.bongacams tr Strategies/Important Notes -Pick wisely who these 3 suitors are. You will be expending lot of your time and energy. Make it worth it! -Understand that you might lose both or all of your 3 options in this process. Dating multiple men at once is difficult (Emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially even). -You’ll have to be very good at multi-tasking. DON’T MIX THEM UP. -Space out or clump dates when necessary. You need your ME time too! -Have fun! It’s the ride. You’ll learn about yourself a lot.   Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dates & Details, Dating & Relationships, For Women Tagged in: Dating, friends with benefits Cards, a dozen roses, jewelry, chocolate, gourmet dinners–these are all things that men are generally told they need to shell out with regards to their significant others on Valentine’s Day…but do women really expect that? a new survey, released by international online dating site AnastasiaDate, revealed some good information about Americans’ attitudes and perspectives toward dating and relationships this Valentine’s Day. The findings show that women care more about guys who are thoughtful, respectful, and attentive over those who could offer them material objects and fancy dinners. As this Valentine’s Day quickly approaches (tomorrow!), here are three things that men can ( and should) do to ensure a romantic evening on love’s big day: Flattery will get you everywhere. According to the survey, 54 percent of female respondents think that men should always get them a Valentine’s Day card filled with thoughtful words and meaningful messages. What does that mean? Don’t just buy a card and sign it! Write a loving note that means something to both you and her, and demonstrates that you took the time to think about it. Treat her like gold, and you’re in the money. A majority (70 percent) of female respondents think that if their date treats them with care and respect, they’re nearly guaranteed to have sex at the end of the night. Valentine’s Day is the best time to show just how caring, compassionate, respectful, and chivalrous you can be. In the end, it will pay off in a big way for both of you. Paying attention pays dividends…in bed. Conversation is the key to a successful date, so make sure that you are paying attention to your significant other and showing interest in what they are saying.

Hogging the conversation or shifting the focus back to you can be quite a turn-off. At the same time, here are three things that you should avoid on Valentine’s Day: Smell bad? You’re sleeping alone. It may seem obvious, but some men forget to go the extra mile when getting ready for a romantic evening, and 49 percent of female respondents think that bad hygiene is the biggest mood killer. So guys, pick up some aftershave, iron your shirt, and don’t forget to floss! Forget her name, and you’ll never get lucky. Nothing tells your date that you aren’t paying attention more than calling her by the wrong name (or the name of an ex-girlfriend). This may seem surprising, but it’s a common occurrence that women experience while dating. Of those surveyed, 33 percent said that being called the wrong name on a date is the easiest way to ruin the mood – and ensure that the guy goes home by himself. Radar neck will guarantee a lonely night. This goes without saying, but unfortunately many men need to be reminded of this: When out on a date, keep your eyes on her and off other women! Almost a quarter (24 percent) of female respondents said that if they catch their dates checking out other women, sex is out associated with the question.https://topadultreview.com/

3 Budget-Friendly Ideas to Win Your Valentine’s Heart

Bottom line for this year’s Valentine’s Day: don’t forget to put in a little extra effort, make your date feel like the center of your attention and think of a few thoughtful words to let her know just how much you care. Whether it’s your first date or your 50th, take the time to plan out the perfect night for you and your significant other – and know that you don’t have to break the bank to make it happen. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Share This Article Facebook57Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Men, Tips & Advice Tagged in: advice, anastasiadate, Dating, dating tips, Relationships, Sex, valentines day, women Whether it’s taking a class, going to experience a performance or simply busting your moves in a club or a bar, dancing can be a wonderful first date idea. Apart from being a beautiful form of self-expression, dancing can also tell you a lot more about a person than your typical date night out, and it might even help you choose a potential partner more easily. Even if you’re not looking for a serious relationship right now, dancing the night away can simply be a fun and interesting date idea. So, here are a few things dancing can tell you about your date: You can learn more about their personality We’ve all been on those boring first dates when we go out for drinks or a nice meal, sit across the table from each other and go back and forth chit chatting and asking countless questions we almost feel like we’re on a job interview. But instead of talking aimlessly and suffering through awkward silences, dancing is all about the feeling and the communication with another person without actually saying a word. It’s called the universal language for a good reason; you instinctively move along with another person, letting your bodies do all the talking. You can see how well they take instructions Taking your date to a dance class is also a great way to see how they take instructions and how well they actually react to them, telling you more about their character than a dinner date ever could. If they can’t handle being told how to handle it by a professional, chances are you could have difficulty making compromises and coming to agreements as time goes on. If they can’t take constructive criticism and additionally they give up easily when it’s not going well, will they fight for your relationship when times get tough or will they give up just as quickly? But on the other hand, if they try their hardest and don’t stop even if they’re not the best at it, then you might have found yourself a keeper. a great dress can help you seduce them more easily The power of a well-fitting dress is simply undeniable, and a sexy slip dress is the ideal option for a dancing date night. Not only does this silhouette suit every figure beautifully, but it also hugs your curves in all the best ways. What’s more, a dress like this also flows perfectly, following your every move and swaying along with your body and the music, making for the most alluring sight your date is bound to fall in love with. So, visit some amazing dress stores the next time you decide to take your date dancing, pick out a feminine slip dress and knock your partner off their feet. You can test your date’s opinions and feelings Another good first date idea would be to take your date to experience a dance performance. It might not involve any physical movement, but it is a great way of testing the person’s thoughts and feelings, as well as their appreciation of the art.

If both you and your date end up loving the show, then that’s perfect, but if they aren’t fond of it and still sit through the performance patiently just to allow you to be happy, then you might have found the right one. However, if they don’t like it and end up complaining the whole time and asking you why you even brought them here, think about what a relationship with a person like that would look like. Their moves are really a great indicator of their bedroom skills Possibly the most obvious benefit of a dancing date night, it’s a well-known fact that someone’s dancing skills are closely linked to their bedroom skills. Of course, this is not exclusive and there are other factors that can make a bad dancer good in bed. But if they can move their hips like a pro with their clothes on and standing up, just imagine the possibilities of your future interactions. After all, hips don’t lie. You can evaluate your date’s level of self-esteem Dancing with a person you barely know in a room filled with strangers can be a very uncomfortable and sometimes even scary situation. And while a great dancer might feel perfectly comfortable in that scenario, it can tell you a lot about a person who might not be the greatest at dancing. If they are willing to put themselves and their subpar moves out there, completely opening themselves up for criticism and judgment, and even dance like no one is watching, then you’ve found a confident and self-assured person who doesn’t care what anyone thinks, and simply wants to have a great time going out with you. Even though dance skills are subjective and dancing doesn’t appeal to every type of person, taking someone dancing on a first date can be a wonderful way of getting to know them on a different and more personal level.

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Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook9Tweet0Pin2 Posted in: Date Ideas Tagged in: Date Ideas, dates, first date Photo Cred: Thomas Kelley May I not have this dance? 3 Dances that can ( and will) ruin your relationship.

Everybody talks about in order to have a good, strong relationship with your partner, you need to have a “solid foundation.” Blah, Blah, Blah. It’s everywhere-blog posts, books, journals, even coming out of your therapist’s mouth during couples session number #15. In place of talking about how to handle it in order to achieve “solid foundation” status, let’s talk more along the lines of what NOT to do in your relationship.  ALL couples engage in what we call “dances.” And they’re not the kind of dances that promote a little skin to skin and a good time. These are the kinds of dances that will quickly demolish any good thing you have going –FAST. By dances, we are referring to the back and forth steps that all couples use with their significant other when they are either stressed out or feeling disconnected from each other. These are the fights that you have over repeatedly, the way you talk (or not talk) about the issues that are never settled, or the ways that you and your partner react and respond that are so predictable…and hurtful. And when these dances start to happen too frequently and too intensely, this is when we enter the danger zone.

So, if you can learn to recognize these movements in your relationship, you can absolutely change the dance and work out your relationship so much better (and maybe even achieve “solid foundation” status!) The 3 dances are:   Mutual Dictator Dictator vs. Frozen Numb and Number The Mutual Dictator can be described as arguing and fighting. I demand you ____ and then you demand that I _____.   Repeat.   Both people want to be heard, but it’s often at the expense of the other. They’re trying to tell the other person what they are doing wrong and expect change (hence, dictator). And, it’s not that what they’re saying is wrong, they probably have a good point!  It’s not necessarily the words here that are the problem, it’s more the nature of the relationship. It’s the dance.

It’s circular and predictable. The more I tell you to _______, the more you tell me to _______. And so it goes. Neither person feels like they are being heard, just blamed. And it feels bad.   The Dictator vs. Frozen relationship can be described as when one person demands something of the other even though the other person in return withdraws or ignores the demand ( and the person).   It can also happen the other way– one person is withdrawing and the other person becomes demanding as a result. It’s not clear which one happened first or why, but they both rely on the other to exist. This dance is circular and reinforcing and this is the key point. The more that you demand (or withdraw), the more your partner then withdraws (or demands) in response.   You’re actually helping to create the opposite of what you really want.   Again, the request may be totally on point.

It’s not the specifics of the problem. It’s the circular and reinforcing pattern. Most of us think it’s the conflict or our partner that’s the problem. And while the details are important, they are not the REAL problem. The problem is that the dance takes over and chips away at all the good stuff in your relationship.  The real enemy here is the dance. And the dance feels bad.   The third dance we like to call Numb and Number. The initial two dances have conflict in them and demands by a least one person. But in Numb and Number, it feels like nothing is really at stake. Here, you’re more like roommates than lovers– the attachment isn’t as strong and neither is the relationship. There’s not lot of fighting, and because of that, not a lot of emotional connecting. This interacting, like the others, is reinforcing and circular. The more one person withdraws, the more the other withdraws and the bond begins to crumble.

  Are any of these dances familiar to you? These dances are so common, that they affect even the happiest couples. Dr. John Gottman, revolutionary couples expert and professor, states that “as long due to the fact ratio of positive to negative interactions remains at least five to one, the relationship is sturdy.” He continues to report that when the ratio dips below that, he can predict with 94% accuracy that a couple will divorce or end their relationship (http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/psychology/married-with-problems-therapy-may-not-help.html). Most people do these dances without even knowing it. Having name, makes it a little easier to recognize. And recognizing the dance is the first step to getting the love you really want.  So lets slow the beat down, change the track, and find a rhythm that works for the both of you. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook16Tweet0Pin1 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Men, For Women, Marriage, Relationships, Tips & Advice Tagged in: advice, communication, dating advice, For Men, For Women, love, marriage, relationship advice, Relationships Finding a soul mate that you feel a strong connection with at all levels (spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical and relational) is a gift from above, which also requires some inner work. I like to call it ‘soul-dating’. “Of course, true hotness lies within,” reports The Atlantic, “but how do you get someone to discover your inner hottie?” Scientific studies show that “wearing red, having a beard, and sharing a glass of wine could be a good start.” That may be good advice, but inner peace might be the real key. Behold The Two Become One! Introduction For singles seeking a soul mate with a strong spiritual connection, you might consider starting off with a “sacred friendship,” based on shared life purposes and goals. Open communication about spiritual experiences should flow naturally in an environment of mutual acceptance. “A key to blending friendship with romance is to take the time to explore each other’s interests and then share in them,” write Gary and Norma Smalley in their 1989 bestselling book, “It Takes Two to Tango.” Friendship is square one in soul dating. This takes an investment of time and willingness to listen with our heart as well as our mind. Together we can grow in the practice of mirroring a loving gaze toward each other. Perhaps the biggest challenge is finding a soul mate who is on a similar and compatible spiritual growth path — a partner who embraces inclusive spirituality in place of exclusive religion. As best selling author and teacher Richard Rohr puts it, “Most people can only grasp 1 or 2 levels of consciousness — or spiritual growth stages — beyond where they’re presently at.” Understanding this just might save a lot of time, effort and heartbreak when seeking a spiritually compatible soul mate.

If you are very patient, you might be able to bridge spiritual gaps. However, serving as a spiritual bridge often means having a willingness to get walked on from both sides. Rohr, who derives much wisdom and inspiration from the life of St. Francis of Assisi, offers an excellent resource to help determine roughly what spiritual stage you’ll presently be at in his audiobook, “The Art of Letting Go: Living the Wisdom of Saint Francis”. Rohr describes “Nine Stages of Spiritual Growth” in simple, non-technical terms. He stresses “the more advanced levels of spiritual consciousness must always include all previous levels, rather than excluding them.” He also teaches that progressing in spiritual growth usually involves some type of loss at every stage of consciousness, which usually prods us onward. This “art of letting go” helps us move to deeper stages. “The goal of true religion,” says Rohr is, “The journey toward enlightenment and ‘Falling Upward’,” — which is the title of his 2013 bestselling book. 9 Stages of Spiritual Growth Here is my humble summary of Rohr’s Nine Stages of Spiritual Growth… 1.”My body is who I am” — This is our starting point as a child… it is the level of sex and survival… the priority is pleasure and security. It is a necessary stage, but sadly some people get stuck at this stage for a lifetime. 2. “My external behavior is who I am” — Our identity is focused on rituals, and badges which are important at this stage, we must look good to others. We become practiced at hiding and denying our shadow self. An example would be the extreme far-right wing, which live mostly in dualistic, tribal thinking and a ‘win-lose’ worldview.

Protecting boundaries and identities is important. It is the eventual disappointment that leads to further progress. 3. “My thoughts and my feelings are who I am” — Those at this stage can be learned, but they are still very egocentric, viewing education as a substitute for transformation, and strong individualism makes it hard to work together. An example would be ‘limousine liberals’, who embrace symbolism without substance. Rohr believes this stage is where the U.S. and most of Europe is presently at and that it usually requires a major personal fall to move forward. “Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies,” said Jesus, “it cannot produce fruit”. 4. “My deeper intuition, felt knowledge in my body is who I am” — At this stage we begin to think ‘contemplatively’, slowly gaining the ability to embrace paradox, making a discovery of ‘soul’ in us and in everything else. This is a very alluring stage, but it is also tempting to stay at this stage and become self-absorbed. Stage four is an important breakthrough, but it still lacks an outflow of love for the Creator and the other. On a cultural level the 1960s illustrated a rediscovery of meaning, embracing the shadow side of classism, war and other social concerns.

5. “My shadow self is who I am” — This stage begins our personal ‘dark night of the soul’, we start discerning our True self and reality.

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